Positive, Contentment, Wisdom

January 15, 2010 at 8:44 pm (Job Satisfaction) (, )

I’m feeling it again.  Trapped.  Despare.  Frustration.  Longing.

How do all you happy people do it?  I try to psych myself up and think of the wonderful things in life.  I try to let go of the things dragging me down.  I put my life into perspective.  There are SO many people truely suffering.  Who am I to be discontent?!  I find myself chanting on the way to work “Positive, contentment, wisdom.  Positive, contentment, wisdom.”  These are things I try to work towards.  And after several rounds I cry out, “Help me, God!  I can’t do it!”  And then silence…

As I shared earlier, I had an appointment for a position in another department.  I am feeling trapped in an entry level, low paying job and really want the challenge of something different.  I would love a management position, but those are hard to come by.  The one I applied for was a medical assistant.  Run appointments, keeping up with meds, serving as a liason between our nurses and their doctors.  I didn’t get it because someone else was already familiar with the workings of this department.  It feels so frustrating that it was such a close call.  It just slipped right through my fingers.  Something so minor and something I could have learned.

But I remind myself of the compliment given me when I was not accepted for the position.  She said it was so hard to decide that she went to HR to get attendance records thinking that might help, but it didn’t.  And she said that if a position for QMRP came up she recommended that I apply for it and that she hoped to work with me in the future.  The med assistant position would pretty much be a lateral move.  The QMRP position would definately be a promotion.  Quite a jump, in fact, for a DSP like me.  I feel honored that she would consider me a suitable applicant for that position.  I always KNEW I could handle a more challenging position and someone else now recognises that, too!  And yet…I want to scream.  Because here I am, still STUCK.  Positions like that open up only rarely.



  1. Erin said,

    Aw, sorry you didn’t get it! That’s always a bummer . I’ve found though, that usually when I don’t get a job, later I get one that makes me say, “I’m so glad I didn’t get that other job!” Are you still interested in going back to school?

    • justaweeblether said,

      One of the things that really frustrates me is that the last position I applied for was 6 months ago, so they don’t come along too often. But I hear ya! That same thing happened to Josh when he first applied at our agency.

      I am definately going ahead with the school thing. I am enrolled in a trig class to get me ready for the calculus I need for the certificate. I wont be able to officially begin the certificate until fall. It just feels so far away and it seems like things are really going down quickly at work and it’s really getting difficult to hang on.

  2. Erin said,

    Yeah, that definitely sounds frustrating. Do you think part of the problem is that you don’t live in a big city? Far fewer opportunies? Good for you for going back to school! I never took trig or calculus–I’m impressed!

    • justaweeblether said,

      Yes, there are definately not as many options here unless you are in the medical field or want to do retail. I also hoped I could stick it out with our agency until I venture out into my new career. I didn’t really want another job to put on my resume unless it were management or in the field I plan to switch to. It just stinks that we got back into social services during a time when the state is making drastic cuts AND the one time in our lives when we are in debt. It makes things a lot harder.

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