February 17, 2010 at 7:16 pm (Employment, Job Satisfaction, working midnights) ()

I had every intention of talking about our Chicago mini-vacation today (it was a good time!) as this is the only day I have the afternoon off, but I just got word that this is my last week (Friday) at the group home and there are no other positions at other group homes open.  I will be transfered to a department which would not be my first choice as a DSP.  Good news is I will not be working midnights, though they are always in need of midnight people and I might get asked to do them. 

So now instead of uploading pictures and such, I will be looking intently through job listings and trying to remember agencies I can look up.  If anyone has any suggestions for NW Indiana and Chicago, I will take them!


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February 8, 2010 at 9:12 pm (Healthcare, Job Satisfaction, working midnights) (, , , , )

After such an amazingly normal time off I went back to HR with my release note and the recommendation from the doctor that I not work midnights.  I was hopeful after the communication I had with HR last week that I could just be transfered to a position that only worked days.

Well, it didn’t work out that way.  I was told they did not have to accommodate the restriction and if I didn’t want to work midnights they MIGHT be able to transfer me to another group home or I would have to find another position available and apply for it.

I have spent the last week looking for other positions.  Right now I feel like I would take almost anything.  I am looking in Chicago because it seems like my chances would be better there, but to make the commute worth it I would have to require a higher wage than I am making now (which is pretty low, so it wouldn’t be too hard).  Anyone know of anything???

It would be a dream if I could find someone working in statistics that would be willing to hire someone aspiring to work in statistics, but doesn’t yet have the education or experience and let me shadow and train.  I would be willing to take a low pay for the experience and to just be able to get right into the field I am dying to get into.  But like I said, that would just be a dream.  People don’t do that anymore.

I’m looking at hospitals and universities.  But even secretary or clerk positions require experience and certifications.

I found a perfect fit as a resource specialist at a hospital, right in line with something I did in Chicago!  But I couldn’t even advance to the application because I don’t speak Spanish.  😦  I had hoped they would let me learn.

So I am technically released to work, but since I wasn’t on the schedule I am forced to use vacation time for today and probably tomorrow.  Wednesday we start our mini vacation!  The idea of our holiday is a little less thrilling to me now that I don’t know what kind of a job, IF I will have a job when I come back.

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To Feel Normal Again

February 7, 2010 at 3:10 am (Healthcare, Job Satisfaction, working midnights) (, , , )

Tuesday I saw the doctor about my blood pressure.  I had gotten off my midnight at 9am and had to stay up for the appointment at 10:45.  My BP was high, but not dangerous.  Still, the doctor was concerned enough to put me on medical leave until I had some tests and she re-evaluated the situation in a week.  I had an EKG in the office and had to schedule and echocardiogram and some lab work.  I will also have to wear a heart monitor for a month, but that has not come yet.  The hospital waited 2 days to phone my insurance about it and they have still not heard from my insurance company.  Sure would be easier if everything were centralized, but anyways…

After my appointment I went to HR to turn in my doctor’s note and phone my boss.  Then I spent an hour on the phone talking to 3 different departments at the hospital to set the appointment, pre-register for my heart monitor, and pre-register for the echo and lab work, each one separately, each one requiring my name, address, insurance info, work info, and Josh’s work info.  *sigh*

Then I had to run over to the hospital to turn in the order for my heart monitor (did I mention that has not arrived yet?).  As I was driving away from the hospital I was making a tight turn and ran into broken, jagged curb which I found out a day later had punctured the tire wall and we now need new tires.  *argh!*  Just one hour before I found the flat I recieved a call from the hospital stating that my portion of the echo would be $600 and would I be able to pay it tomorrow?  There go our hopes of paying off our debt this month.

I didn’t finally get to sleep until about 3pm.  I was up for longer than 24 hours on just a few hours of sleep after the previous midnight.

On the day I found the flat tire I was actually on my way to a mandatory staff meeting.  It was one hour and it wasn’t actual work.  It was mandatory so I thought I should still go.  At the meeting no one looked at me.  No one talked to me.  I felt like a peon.  After I got home I got a call from HR saying “You can’t do that!”  My boss had called HR (after the meeting) and said she just didn’t know what to do when I arrived, that she didn’t want to just send me home.  I think I would have preferred that she send me home.  Or she could have said, “I’m not sure you can be here on medical leave.  Let me phone someone.”  I didn’t care to be there anyways.  And I felt like an idiot.

So it was a rough week, but it has also been a wonderful week.  I feel like I have my life back.  I feel like a normal human being again.  I feel happiness and contentment and I have a desire to do the things I enjoy and I have energy to do household duties.  I hadn’t realised the extent of what these last 6 months had done to me.  In retrospect I was the frog in the pot of water as it got hotter and hotter, not fully realising it had been at boiling point for some time.  It was like I was in a cave with a candle, watching the flame grow dimmer and dimmer, not fully realising that my oxygen had been running out.  I now feel like a thick, heavy, dark cloud has been lifted from me.  I can see.  I can breathe.

and i DON’T WANT to go BACK!

I have spent hours scouring adds.  I filled in applications.  I feel desparate.

On Monday I will see the doctor again and she will be able to tell me if my BP problem is acute or if it has been going on longer than I thought.  I have be monitoring my BP and it has dropped way back down to normal since Tuesday.  I notified HR that my doctor may conclude that this is a work related issue and she may not clear me to work midnights (please, oh please!).  Later I recieved a call from HR saying that while the agency is required to accomodate the restriction, my boss is not willing to.  Though I was told when I was hired that I would not be working midnights and I worked my first 6 months only doing about 3 midnights, it would not be possible now.  But may be day positions available in our workshop.  I have also applied for a group home manager position and may interview for that next week.  We will see what happens.  But right now I feel like the stress and awfullness of the last 6 months has come fully to it’s head and I feel emotionally like I want to just lay flat on my back and stare at the ceiling, exhausted.  I don’t WANT to return to work.

We do start a mini vacation on Wednesday.  So I may be back to work 2 days (if they can fit me into the schedule) and then be off for another 5.  We really need it.

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